OULIPOST #16: CHIMERA

The prompt:
The chimera of Homeric legend – lion’s head, goat’s body, treacherous serpent’s tail – has a less forbidding Oulipian counterpart. It is engendered as follows. Having chosen a newspaper article or other text for treatment, remove its nouns, verbs and adjectives. Replace the nouns with those taken in order from a different work, the verbs with those from a second work, the adjectives with those from a third.

The process:

I tried to follow the rules. I really did, really...I swearz it.  I always get confused with noun-trains and adverbs and adjectives and I just want it to be correct. :/ Then I put the pieces and words together and noticed not very many adjectives..mostly nouns and verbs...

I then started mixing lines up and putting them together so things would make sense. I wanted to make this better than what it was. I didn't love it..so..it is a little better. It's not perfect and I couldn't continue because my source article is gross and wordy and I liked the first sentence but I also liked how I forced my poem to end. I saw some words and then the replacements were pretty funny. 

Here it is.

The result:

Slimming Shapewear Taxes Pyramid Needle Scheme

They were received at two 

and by women 

From basic undergarments

Capsules

In the fear, 

They drilled to lingerie

Products, and fat

Pain Lately 

Reprieved

Maidenform of women

To file

In what cases ask a

Needle-free

Garment power

Suits delays the slimming shapewear
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Sources:
Healy, Beth. "State sues over pyramid scheme.  The Boston Globe. 16 April 2014. B1-B5. Print.
Borchers, Callum. "A Dental Visit With No Drill."   The Boston Globe. 16 April 2014. B1-B7. Print.
Johnson, Katie. "Lingerie firms are sued over slimming claim." The Boston Globe. 16 April 2014. B1-B7. Print.
Fernandes, Deirdre. "Mass. Tax deadline extended."The Boston Globe. 16 April 2014. B1-B7. Print.