Thursday, December 17, 2009

Coming to a close...

Well, after a very anti-climactic end, I finished my final fall semester of grad school. It feels very bitter sweet. Day by day, I realize I need to cherish these days. In a few short months, I will not a be a grad student anymore. I will not be cloistered under the halls of academia nor have a "stable" income. Yep, I am scared.

This semester has been the toughest. Coupled with one of the most emotionally tumultuous summers of my life, this semester has been a roller coaster. Excuse the cliche but it has been filled with major ups and major downs.

I decided to focus on myself and my school work and hopefully that pays off. I finally felt smart enough and wrote two important documents that made me feel like a graduate student. I taught two sections of Tech Comm and enjoyed it. I also think I might have taught them something. I surely hope I did anyway. This semester lacked a lot of fun but I think I may have made that up with achievements and works completed.

I know I need to make way for my future. I am not young anymore. I cannot blame my lack of accomplishments on twentysomething angst. That is an excuse. Nope, I am past that. I am a full fledged adult. I cannot flail, fail or whine. None of those are an option.

As I move on to the capstone semester, I sorta of see a light at the end of the tunnel. I want to be optimistic. Again, I need to find a job. I've worked very hard and sacraficed a lot to accomplish these goals. I never thought I'd be doing what I am doing but I am glad I am. I've had wonderful opportunities and experiences. I couldn't have had it better. Okay, so maybe I could have but, I will take the positive spin and be happy about my predicament.

I want so many things grand and simple. I know they are within my reach. My palm is open and I even may have touched a few. I can only I hope I can closed my grip in a few months. I've left so much behind, what is in front of me needs to fill the voids.