Saturday, January 31, 2009

deconstructionist dressers and egalitarian elite (a recap)

when you mix a gay club, hipsters, pissed off lesbians, and house/electro music, my favorite get my night out last night.

I had a good was fun...amusing..fanciful...but one thing it wasn't was the same.

I smelled the same stench of body odor, beer and cheap perfume with a mix of something that I could never put my finger one. That made me feel good but...something else had changed.

what didn't change? The usual's were there...happy and funfilled. That made me happy. Seeing a many familiar faces makes you realize some things never change and there will always be a special place you will have.

I knew exactly what did was the plethora of underage kids dressed in whatever they thought was cool for this night and boppin' to tunes they don't know. I could tell it was these kids first night out. I swear their mom dropped them off and went over to the Strand and bumped lines of coke for two hours and then came back over to pick them up.

That killed me.

The other thing that killed me was....the fashion...

I consider myself a fashion forward person. I try a lot of things and most of the work and if they don't..whatever.. i thought i looked hot.

But last night took the fucking cake. I have seen gay men take of their pants and booty-ramshackle it up, i've seen girls in tiny shorts and tiny tops...but whoaaaa nelly...get outta town...i saw some fucked up shit last night.

1. A pudge/chubby gal...she was cute...but..her outfit..was not...ahem..get ready folks:

sparkly lavender stretchy pants..that were not leggings..but..pants..they apparently had a zipper. They looked a lot like leggings...painted on and what not. Then she had on what looked like grannies knitted slipper shoes...that were green and brown..good color scheme. Then her top..oh her top..her top, her top, her top. her top.... was a black mesh top. Now, the black mesh holes were large..not small. Was she wearing a bra? No. Was she wearing a shirt under it? no.

what was she wearing?? well..tape. yes..tape. black electrical tape to be exact elegantly decorating her large breasts in a nice X pattern. Nice touch, right? did i mention she kept making her "shirt" a half shirt/belly shirt? No I didn't. was hot.

Good god. I thought I was fashionably unschockable..nope.....

ooh and her freind was wearing some sort of hot pink diaper w/ hot pink leggings. Good thing I rethought outfit choice..I have hot pink leggings..but I do not have a diaper as an outfit selection.

oh and did i mention..the fire alarm..that was amusing...

it was a good night period. I saw what I wanted to see and smiled. I busted some moves. ahhhh.....i miss it...i fucking miss it. :)

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

That was not amazing at all.

****DISCLAIMER*******I do not proclaim to be an expert on the following issues. What I do claim to be a is a lady, a woman, a single lady who enjoys some extracurriculars.

I am single. So sometime a girl has to do what a girl has to do. We gotta do some work downstairs but we have to be discreet.. Men can unabashingly take care of themselves. They can even brag about it. Us ladies need to not mention it. Well, I am going to mention it.

I will digress in saying that women do have more options in the masturbatory department than men. We can buy various tools to provide satisfaction and delight. BUT, not all of these products are created equal. I can attest to that.

I have bought my fair share of products and ya know what? DO THEY DO ANY PRODUCT AND CONSUMER TESTING? Honestly!!!!
Here are a few of my complaints and suggestions:

1. Every product should be multi-speed. Once turned on, it should do something. The product should not have to be switched all the way to high to actually move at a moderate pace. Give me a break. If the batteries are new..the thing should do something good.

2. Products should not be so powerful it feels like its going to burn something off. NAH!! NOT GOOD!!!! That is painful..

3. It should be sleek and feel smooth. It should not feel "weird." We want it to feel...nice...and fun.

4. It really should have a remote. It helps with reducing or increasing speed and movement and its funny. A remote...just think about it.

5. I think it should come with add-ons. Like a little...prize or something that will enhance the experience.

6. Oddly shaped is not always good. When it moves it doesn't always move in a sassy fashion. Odd shape moves oddly. Get it?? It is good to be unique but sometimes its overboard..not exiting.

I am sure there is more but I cannot think of anything else.

So I say to Doc Johnson, California Exotics, et. al...please heed these suggestions and ask consumers...we want to be happy. That is why we buy your luxurious products.

Monday, January 19, 2009


Whilst, I should be getting ready to go into school. I'd like to make a few statements about..the one, the only, Biggie Smalls, the movie.

why are people rioting over this movie?? um..don't we all know the end. Big Boo gets gunned Tupac (keep ya head up).

I know it is upsetting to relive this horrible hip hop tragedy but...come on. Stop shooting eachother! really!!

Lil' Kim did not like how she was portrayed..umm....girl...ya aint that classy. how are those nipple covers??

Also..the dude who plays puffy/diddy/puff daddy/p.diddy/sean combs/sean john really does not look like him. Why didn't diddy just play that role himself?? He was in Raisin in the Sun and some other cinematic gems? Do not get me wrong, I love me some diddy. He put together Dream and Danity Kane!!! (I miss dream..i was obsessed...i used to be able to do the dance moves from their he loves you not video..ok i still could. who am i kidding?) Anyway...get some better actors diddy!! You are a hip hop beacon with a businessy flare.

ok i said my peace.

how ya livin' biggie smalls?

one love...notoroius!!

tonight..i am cleaning out my closet.

i find that my clothes are attached to memories. It is hard for me to let certain pieces go. As i folded and tossed clothes around my room tonight, I remembered a lot happy and weird times.

The black funeral dress I have. I wear it to all sorts of occasions but I think of it as my funeral dress.
My birthday top, purple and black paisley with a cute tie in the back, I wore it on a very memorable birthday as a dress. Every time I see it I think of that got a little out of hand...
My polka hot pants...that was a good day. hahaha
My multiple American Apparel dresses..those always had good results..sometimes too good.
The dress I wore to the last POP that barely fit. The houndstooth skirt that is far too long but I still love it.

My clothes are like pieces of me and my past, my present and future. I know the outfits I wore on special occasions; they mean something to me. They are my visual history. is a passion that i cannot deny.

(side note....does anyone have this fear of being trite? i do...)

Sunday, January 18, 2009

new beginnings...interesting week

I have decided to let a lot of things go for next semester. I have loaded myself up with classes and activities to avoid a personal life. This could be viewed as a bad thing but it really should not be. Last semester I tried to balance everything and it was not possible. It lead me to fall apart at the end of the semester. That will not happen again. I know I have a ton of work but this will be for the best. I have to take me into consideration. My path is different from any others. I know this.

I cannot focus on what I haven't done. I need to focus on where I am going. This week showed me this. I saw someone that I thought I'd never see again and needless to was good..great even. I saw someone who is in my shoes and they are doing well...thriving even. It gave me hope not only in what I am doing but in mankind. It was weird and it is hard to explain. It inspired me to do more; to completely reveal in the environment I am in and not be ashamed about it. I owe this person a huge thank you.

I need to forget a few things and a few people. I have gotten rid of the garbage that was in my life. It was poison. i was not myself last semester and I know what attributed to it. It wasn't school, it was a person. It was my own fault as well. I no longer speak to that person and it sure is nice. I never realized how much speaking to a person could mess you up. cool!! Later person..I am better now!

It is funny, the person I saw this week made me realize it even are doing good nicole...go with the good. hahahaha It is okay that you are you and things will come in time.

I just feel so refreshed. I needed to take steps and I did. I feel back to normal. I am almost back to the nicole i was spring semester 08 where I could do anything and did. hahaha I worked full time and was a grad student. Oh yeah and I had time for fun too. This semester will do just that. I can feel it!!!

Sunday, January 11, 2009

Because I am not so technical...

I cannot seem to link things....via the email. Dammit! i would like to be able to sign into my bloggy via gmail..nah thats not happening!

oh other news, I am attempting to prep for next semester. so good! i need to make up some new assignments and revamp others. I need to go into my office tomorrow and look at stuff. I have a folder but I am not sure where I put it. My desk is such a mess. I also need to edit some poems. I should submit some to my school's literary journal. oye!

i noticed..

that I need to edit this better. damn! too many typos.

Saturday, January 10, 2009


I try to ignore weird coincidences. I try not to look to much into things that remind me of people in my past that have left but...lately....they have been hard to ignore.

Every time I turn on the radio, look at a street sign, something reminds me of a person. Is the universe trying to tell me something??

I do not get it.