Wednesday, January 21, 2009

That was not amazing at all.

****DISCLAIMER*******I do not proclaim to be an expert on the following issues. What I do claim to be a is a lady, a woman, a single lady who enjoys some extracurriculars.

I am single. So sometime a girl has to do what a girl has to do. We gotta do some work downstairs but we have to be discreet.. Men can unabashingly take care of themselves. They can even brag about it. Us ladies need to not mention it. Well, I am going to mention it.

I will digress in saying that women do have more options in the masturbatory department than men. We can buy various tools to provide satisfaction and delight. BUT, not all of these products are created equal. I can attest to that.

I have bought my fair share of products and ya know what? DO THEY DO ANY PRODUCT AND CONSUMER TESTING? Honestly!!!!
Here are a few of my complaints and suggestions:

1. Every product should be multi-speed. Once turned on, it should do something. The product should not have to be switched all the way to high to actually move at a moderate pace. Give me a break. If the batteries are new..the thing should do something good.

2. Products should not be so powerful it feels like its going to burn something off. NAH!! NOT GOOD!!!! That is painful..

3. It should be sleek and feel smooth. It should not feel "weird." We want it to feel...nice...and fun.

4. It really should have a remote. It helps with reducing or increasing speed and movement and its funny. A remote...just think about it.

5. I think it should come with add-ons. Like a little...prize or something that will enhance the experience.

6. Oddly shaped is not always good. When it moves it doesn't always move in a sassy fashion. Odd shape moves oddly. Get it?? It is good to be unique but sometimes its overboard..not exiting.

I am sure there is more but I cannot think of anything else.

So I say to Doc Johnson, California Exotics, et. al...please heed these suggestions and ask consumers...we want to be happy. That is why we buy your luxurious products.


Jenni B. said...

Extracurriculars. You crack me up.

You know, I've even done research before buying....extracurricular equipment....and everyone who wrote reviews was like "Yeah! Woo-hoo! Awesome! Three times in a row!" Then come to find out the product was not very woo-hoo at all.

N.I.C.O.L.E. said...

Right!!! It is not soo woo hoo that was awesome!! It was more like..umm not so much..

But..I did here some fantastic news about one from a friend and she said..WOO HOO THAT WAS AWESOME! It was about a product that I did hear a lot of good things about. So it could be a winner. I am going to wait for a sale..which is every tuesday.waa waa