Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Dear Self,

Self, you were supposed to write because it's therapeutic. But, what did you do instead? You bottle it up and thought, and thought and thought. You internalized. Good job.

So, you write now and it's not therapeutic. It just fosters more thought.

Oh boy. You need to make it through the next 6 days and hopefully you will be okay.


Saturday, June 16, 2012

Dear Hollywood,

Dear Hollywood,

I think I have a sappy movie you'd be interested in. It's called my life. You couldn't write my life...seriously. While having the most awkward, personal and heart wrenching conversation of my life one does not expect hecklers or a 3-legged dog. Yep...that's my life. Also...ball jokes were involved to cut the tension.

Is this normal?? Not so much.


Thursday, June 14, 2012

Dear Everyone,

Dear Everyone,

Anyone who is close to me knows that I haven't written in a long time. I'd all but "given" up on it.  Over the last year or so, things have to put it bluntly..gone down hill. I've survived emotionally but just barely.

I am trying to write to feel better and I can only hope it works. 

My mother is well again but now my uncle and godfather are now ill.

My heart's been toyed with for almost 2 years and I am somewhat to blame for the situation and now it seems it's coming to a big culmination. I know I am not emotionally prepared for what is going to happen. I know I will be very sad for a long time. I need to move on and it will be hard. Since well, I do not have very many people to lean on.

I keep telling myself, I don't know how I am going to do this. And, I really don't. I know, well at least, I can hope that in a few months I will feel better. I will have moved on and not wallowed in this pit of despair of self doubt and hatred. I've never had to do this before. This is real and I don't like it. I need to remember that I deserve better and that something better will come.

I can say that I am not sorry it happened. I did learn somethings and I will "miss" this person. I know what I want and need and yeah...we shall see.

I do know that I do not want to feel like this anymore.

I will get through this but damn, it's going to suck.


Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Dear MTV,

Dear MTV,

Wow, watching Teen Mom makes me feel that my new personal low of eating Chef Boyardee Mini Dino's and meatballs with Cape Cod chips for dinner is acceptable and not that bad.



Sunday, June 10, 2012

If only I could write a dress code...

I often think about what it would be like if I ran my own company or even assisted in running a company. I could make rules and regulations, high powered decisions, etc. Fun, right??

But, I mostly think about how great it would be to create a dress code. Every fashion love, hatred, and whim could be set in stone and people would have to obey them because's the dress code!

So here it is, my dress code wish list:
  1. Open-toed shoes permitted unless you wear a toe ring. But let's be honest, if you are the type of person who wears a toe ring you wouldn't have been hired here.
  2. If wearing open-toed shoes, toes must not be gnarly. 
  3. Males: No open-toed shoes... just no.
  4. If you step on the premises wearing sweatpants, you're fired.
  5. If you wear ill-fitting pants: Go home and change and on the way there stop at a tailor. (ill-fitting= too long, too short (no man-capri's) too baggy, too tight, etc)
  6. Skirts must not come higher than ones fingertips when standing tall like a soldier, not saluting. 
  7. On casual Friday's, if you wear sports paraphernalia,  you're fired. Unless it's a hat, then that is somewhat acceptable. 
  8. Wrinkled clothes are not permitted. Employees must look professional at all times. Wrinkles=unprofessional. (Wrinkled=looks like you just took it out of the dryer or off the floor and it got into some sort of fabric fight.)
  9. If you have some sort of horrible tattoo, cover it up. For example, if in 1997 you thought getting a tribal tattoo that goes the length of your arm was a good idea, then you will wear long sleeves for your tenure at this company.
  10. Finally, wear a smile at least thrice throughout the day. Frowns are unsightly. 
If only it was legal to make this a legitimate dress code. Don't even get me started on the addendum for Casual Friday.  

More letters/emails...

Dear iTunes,

What the hell did I purchase that would make you "think" that you should recommend the Tila Tequila album? You should NEVER recommend that album...NEVER.




Dear City of Newton,

Why did you not inform me or the neighborhood that there was a road race today?  I would have liked advanced notice to the number of shirtless humans running by my window. Give a gal a heads up!!





Dear Apple Computers,

I dropped my iPhone on Friday on pavement..screen down. The screen DID NOT shatter. I just thought you should know that my phone is an exception to the rule. Thanks. 



Thursday, June 7, 2012

New Focus: Emails I should or need to write

So, I want to try to update this blog weekly with funny or poignant emails that I should have written throughout the week. For example, an email to the parking company that gave me a ticket or an email to a friend to tell them how I really feel about their actions because talking to them will only cause more drama and I know they don't read this one does..I looked at the stats.  We shall see how it goes because this blog is schizophrenic. It needs some direction.

Okay here we go!

Dear so and so,

I saw something that reminded me of you and I chuckled. Too bad you turned into such a cunt.



Yikes, that one was a bit harsh. I promise they won't all be this way. Mostly, they are meant to be funny. I am sure I need some of these emails written to me.