I have decided to let a lot of things go for next semester. I have loaded myself up with classes and activities to avoid a personal life. This could be viewed as a bad thing but it really should not be. Last semester I tried to balance everything and it was not possible. It lead me to fall apart at the end of the semester. That will not happen again. I know I have a ton of work but this will be for the best. I have to take me into consideration. My path is different from any others. I know this.
I cannot focus on what I haven't done. I need to focus on where I am going. This week showed me this. I saw someone that I thought I'd never see again and needless to say..it was good..great even. I saw someone who is in my shoes and they are doing well...thriving even. It gave me hope not only in what I am doing but in mankind. It was weird and it is hard to explain. It inspired me to do more; to completely reveal in the environment I am in and not be ashamed about it. I owe this person a huge thank you.
I need to forget a few things and a few people. I have gotten rid of the garbage that was in my life. It was poison. i was not myself last semester and I know what attributed to it. It wasn't school, it was a person. It was my own fault as well. I no longer speak to that person and it sure is nice. I never realized how much speaking to a person could mess you up. cool!! Later person..I am better now!
It is funny, the person I saw this week made me realize it even more...you are doing good nicole...go with the good. hahahaha It is okay that you are you and things will come in time.
I just feel so refreshed. I needed to take steps and I did. I feel back to normal. I am almost back to the nicole i was spring semester 08 where I could do anything and did. hahaha I worked full time and was a grad student. Oh yeah and I had time for fun too. This semester will do just that. I can feel it!!!