Saturday, May 2, 2009

Spreading thing...

My seemingly good ideas go wrong often...

I am physically and mentally exhausted. I now know that I should not try to take on the world or just more than I can chew.

As the semester winds down, I am not sure what I feel. The only adjective I can think of is..awkward. I have a full year left of school and I can only hope to make the best of it. I am trying to be positive and think yes, Nicole, you will get the "job" of your dreams..soon. Your life won't be a will make something of yourself and be happy.

I feel a bit better that I am no longer letting my life slip away. I am not stuck in my job that I was to smart for. Yes, I said it. I was above my job. My abilities do not lie in folding shirts and what not but, I have to say I do miss it at times. I loved the people, the oddities and the fashion. I miss the fashion...

I can only imagine what this summer will bring. I do not want to waste it but I do want to relax and relish in the fact that I am still a student. I want to explore and do new things.

I want to get out and spread my wings. (yes, corny I know but I think it is something I need to do)

I want, I want, I want...

Right now,I want to be lazy and not do anything. I know I should be reading but I cannot bring myself to do it.

In the whole, I want theme of this blog, I also did something I didn't want to do. Well, actually, I did want to do it.

I finally put my foot down and decided that I was not "that girl." I never have been and never will be. I need to make decisions that will make me happy and further my "growth." I am not the girl you call when you are back in town from a trip for a week. Nope. I am not the girl who you just want to have a good time with. Nope, not me.

I am the girl who is devoted, giggly and emotionally deeper and smarter than her bouncy and sassy exterior portrays. I feel far to much than I should even with people I do not even like very much.

I have been stuck in pining and I know it but sadly I cannot help it. I deserve better than what I have been dealt with relationships..well i can't say that because I've never had a relationship...sooo..hmm...encounters??

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