So, he responded. I do not know if that is good or bad. He responded to everything I had to say, even my very precocious attempt to hang out with him again. He said we should see whats up for next week (meaning tomorrow through next Sunday.. hehe) I guess that is good. I do not know. He could be putting me off. I just keep second guessing myself. I am also impatient and overzealous.
I am taking advice from several people and I have said that I feel as if i cannot be myself. I feel as if I cannot send a nice, excited note because it makes me to "available" and that doesn't attract men. Umm..hi,that's how I am. I can't really change it. I send notes. I say how I feel. I hate it. I don't play games. I think it's stupid. I can't play games, we are adults..why should we?
Then..I have been told to read, He's Just Not That Into You..I suspect this dude isn't that into me and all the dudes I have ever dated weren't. If I cracked opened that book, I know my whole crappy dating career would be a lie. So I don't read it. I am sorry. I know I couldn't take it.
I think my over analysis of everything..is really hurting me. I can't help it.:(
I see these insta-couples (people who meet and instantly turn into a couple) and it confuses me. I have NEVER had that...EVER!
This whole relationship crap bears heavily on my mind because I seem to conquer most of the things I want out of life...ie...school, job..etc. with a lot of hard work and I have put so much thought, effort, time, emotion into this dating thing and I have failed...FAILED!! I have stepped outside of all my comfort zones. I have tried hard..maybe a little to hard because I want it so much....or just a nice chance at it. I would like to enjoy things so many other people have had the chance to enjoy and I haven't even had a taste of getting to know someone you really like.
It makes me want to give up...it really does. Maybe it is the one thing in life I won't be able to have.
In other news, I watched the Jane Austen Book Club today...I am in love! It just struck me as a really interesting and cute movie. I loved how they talked about the books in an intelligent manor and dissected the characters. It made me happy. It had dogs, a cute dude and a books in it. What isn't to love??