Monday, May 25, 2009


So, he responded. I do not know if that is good or bad. He responded to everything I had to say, even my very precocious attempt to hang out with him again. He said we should see whats up for next week (meaning tomorrow through next Sunday.. hehe) I guess that is good. I do not know. He could be putting me off. I just keep second guessing myself. I am also impatient and overzealous.

I am taking advice from several people and I have said that I feel as if i cannot be myself. I feel as if I cannot send a nice, excited note because it makes me to "available" and that doesn't attract men. Umm..hi,that's how I am. I can't really change it. I send notes. I say how I feel. I hate it. I don't play games. I think it's stupid. I can't play games, we are adults..why should we?

Then..I have been told to read, He's Just Not That Into You..I suspect this dude isn't that into me and all the dudes I have ever dated weren't. If I cracked opened that book, I know my whole crappy dating career would be a lie. So I don't read it. I am sorry. I know I couldn't take it.

I think my over analysis of really hurting me. I can't help it.:(

I see these insta-couples (people who meet and instantly turn into a couple) and it confuses me. I have NEVER had that...EVER!

This whole relationship crap bears heavily on my mind because I seem to conquer most of the things I want out of, job..etc. with a lot of hard work and I have put so much thought, effort, time, emotion into this dating thing and I have failed...FAILED!! I have stepped outside of all my comfort zones. I have tried hard..maybe a little to hard because I want it so much....or just a nice chance at it. I would like to enjoy things so many other people have had the chance to enjoy and I haven't even had a taste of getting to know someone you really like.

It makes me want to give really does. Maybe it is the one thing in life I won't be able to have.


In other news, I watched the Jane Austen Book Club today...I am in love! It just struck me as a really interesting and cute movie. I loved how they talked about the books in an intelligent manor and dissected the characters. It made me happy. It had dogs, a cute dude and a books in it. What isn't to love??

Oh Jane...


katy said...

okay, nicole. i am NOT an authority on boys. i've only had to deal with the one, and i was lucky... but i was also persistent and stubborn and young and stupid ^_^

i think any guy would appreciate a girl who doesn't play games. you're a sweety pie. you're SMART as hell. you come across as confident and self-aware. you also come across as really fun (goofy and light hearted). you're a prefect little (read short) package.

nice boy is looking for a nice girl. you are a nice girl (but not too nice, if you get what i mean). you're totally the kind of girl boys should be bringing home to their mothers.

ALSO, no matter what ANYONE says, you should play by your own rules. tell nice boy that yeah, some times you get a little enthusiastic about stuff, about hanging out with people you like. be honest with him.

honesty + nicole = nicoleholdinghandswithniceboy

that's it.

oh, no it's not actually... you dress really nice too. boys like that i think.


Nicole said...

this made me cry. you are very sweet. i can only hope..

i did tell the nice boy i got a bit excited..about my note..i blamed it on the puppy videos i was watching.

if he doesn't respond..i will possibly write him another note to tell him that.

katy said...

aww, didn't mean to make you cry, but as long as they were tears of happy/love, that's okay ^_^