Today, I did something a bit drastic but it was surely needed.
After almost 2 years of internet dating, I deleted my okcupid user account. I could not do it anymore. I have had very good and very bad experiences. I have had my heart broken once and my feelings hurt countless times. I am not sorry I did it. I am sorry it did not work out.
My current mental state is pretty bad and this whole dating thing is making it worse. I am walking away from it because I think it is the right thing to do. With everything happening in my life, I cannot keep up with it all. My emotions are a nut house.
It still kills me that I am 27 and never have had a relationship. I cannot dwell on it now because it will make me more upset and think wow, nicole..you suck at life. You can't do one simple thing...
I just cannot sit at home anymore and do nothing and dwell. I'd rather be out doing things by myself.
So for now, I will not worry about being alone and try to move on.
I will no longer see pictures of past dates posted on my screen and I can be okay with that. I won't burst into tears every time I see his face, etc.
I hope I feel better.....