Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Haunting My Dreams..

In the last post, I stated that I would no longer see his face on my screen but I did not say I would not see his face in my dreams.

Last night, I had the most vivid, lucid dream, I have had in a long time. I was living in Providence with my best friend and I was leaving for work. Apparently, we had new neighbors across the hall. Turns out it was him and his new "girlfriend." He had just returned from some sort of research/conference. His look was different..long bleached hair, odd piercings , baggy clothes, a murse but, it was still him. The girl looked vagabound...hipster-ish. I walked into him and he knew I was upset. He said...let's take a walk. I was on my way to work so I couldn't just not walk..I was walking anyway. The girlfriend for some reason said, "I am not his girlfriend, girlfriend." I was confused by all of this.

I tried to get away from him and I couldn't. We walked and talked and fell in again. Turns out he was wearing the shirt he wore when I met him. I felt something. Of course, he touched and that was it. I fell very hard. He explained she wasn't really his girlfriend..just someone he was sort of seeing. I was okay with that. We smiled and I was content with him and he seemed willing to move forward with me. Then..I woke up.

I woke up feeling empty.

I don't feel better...I feel a bit worse.

Why am I having these dreams? :(

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