Monday, March 23, 2009

Things I've realized that I deserve...

I realized recently that I have become a bit of an enabler and a needy gal. I hate that. I think my longing for a real relationship caused me to become content with bad behavior and disrespect. It has clouded my vision of common sense. Also, the fact that I am very forgiving is another aspect of this.

I deserve kindness, positive attention and an all around nice dude. I deserve someone who will call, email, etc and not leave me in the lurch wondering, does he like me?? Oh my god!

I do not deserve drunk dials at 2am from someone I barely know or to be made fun of and laughed at when I reveal intimate details of my life to a person I think is nice and I did want to get to know.

I feel as if I sound a bit caustic about this whole thing but I am sick of having the same experiences.

I thought I met a few nice guys once but one didn't work out and broke my heart a bit (a bit..means a great deal..but yeah..not going there doesn't help the emotions) and the other just still leaves me wondering. I miss one as a friend a lot (that would be second dude). He was just nice to be around.

Like a total romantic, I still have a wee bit of hope for both of these situations...why? I HAVE NO IDEA!! I think they are the only ones I felt a connection and commonality with. Will I find it again? I have no idea. The funny thing is, I could be completely full of crap when I say that they felt something, most likely they didn't. I don't even know. Honestly, I don't know nothin, about nothin.


Jenni B. said...

You are not caustic. You're standing up for yourself. Standing up for yourself is not caustic.

My theory is that as long as you're looking for a relationship, you're never going to find it. As soon as you stop looking for a relationship, it's gonna smack you in the face!

Of course, other people may say that if you don't look for a relationship, you can't possibly find one.


Nicole said...

agreed!!!!! everyone says that..i dont' want to give up but maybe i shouldnt' look and just write an ode to vesty which i may do now.

Jenni B. said...

Well I am not sure anyone is right. People find love in different places and times and circumstances. Do whatchya think is best :)