Yes, it's the time in my show where I hate my writing and lack confidence in it all. I begin to hate writing all together. I begin to have everything.
For example, I worked on my personal essay for hours and hours and began to hate it as I finished it. I wanted to make it funny and quirky and different, so I made it very me. I also added in footnotes. Yes, yes... I know..David Foster Wallace but I love parenthetical details and another voice brought into the mix so I used footnotes. Well, as I passed it in, I get..what is up with the footnotes. I said, they are part of the story and my essay. Then I say, have you ever seen a personal essay with footnotes and my response was, yes. That wasn't good enough but alas.
God dammit! I am already not happy with the piece don't make me more self conscious about it!!
This has been the week of experiences.
I think I feel very small this week and that is saying something because I am already small enough.
I feel like a hack to put it bluntly.
Ok, I need to stop being whiny and move on.
Feeling like a failure needs to end.