I am sick of the grumpy pants in my life..

Honestly...I am trying to stay positive. I have so much on my plate right now I cannot get down on myself. I am already confused enough. I want things so badly that I can taste them. I can only hope they can happen.

So...if you are a grumpy pants and always thinking of bad things..stay away. I am already thinking of the worst so..I don't need more bad things. I feel selfish but...goodness I am working so hard right now. I just want to be happy too.

floods of emotions..women don't have it easy.

Why are women so emotional? Oh..I know why? We have a surplus of hormones flowing through our bodies at all times because we are biologically chosen to have children.

I love being a women. I do, but at times I do know what the difference between up and down are. I feel so much more than I should. I seriously get so crazy and then I level out. yes, this is normal. I just wish life things didn't run its course during those days. hahahahaaha

honestly, I am one confused girl. I would like to be unconfused real soon.

Everything is so fresh and new in my life and I don't know how to take it. I would like it to continue. I think I can handle them. I sure hope so.

I just want to feel a little more on even.

my life is but a dream...

I feel as if I am living in a dream. I cannot describe but I will do my best.

I feel as if everything is falling into place.

The pieces fit snugly and with precision.

The joy seeped in without my knowledge.

There are so many challenges that I am ready to face with a strong mind and a willing heart. I cannot believe I am here. I am doing what I want. The dream is my life.

wow

really? because I am over it.

I am over a lot.

I am over feeling guilty about being happy and doing well for myself.

I am over lazy people.

I am over insane logic..which I have.

I am over putting my faith in people.

I am over Flo Rida...

I am over vacuousness.

I am over people who try to hard.

I am over pretentiousness.

yes i over a lot but mostly..i am under things.

hehehehehe

the diligent, dutiful daughter...

as the realization of my mother's stroke, hit me, it occurred to me, i will be left to take care of her if she ever has another or gets worse. Yes, I have a father and a brother but...my brother sucks and my father is a busy man. He would quit the government for her but I do not think she would let him.

It is always left up to the daughter....

I finally am starting to have everything I want in life and will i have to leave it all? I am just hypothesizing here but I do not think its fair. I am expected to be the caretaker.

This makes me want to move far away and leave it all behind but I have guilt. I want to make my life and accomplish my goals.

I saw what my mother had to go through caring for my grandmother and my uncle sat idly by and helped occasionally. I do not want to do that. I shouldn't have to. I wouldn't have to abandon my dreams if people were normal; if my brother helped and was a normal human. sad....

dear abercrombie and victoria's secret,

i hate you. honestly...you trick people into thinking you have well made products. This is far from the truth. Abercrombie, I will give it to you, your jeans are glorious but honestly...why are they $80. I mean, I hate to be narcissistic and all but my ass look amazing in them. Aside from that..your stuff is overpriced and pretty plain and ugly..victoria's..ugh.. just ugh.. I love how you fool many females into thinking that you will embody femininity if you where their garments. That could be the furthest from the truth. Your underwear is supposed to be uber sexy and what not but really...it just doesn't fit right and really isn't that sexy...ass cheeks hanging out and constant wedgies...blechs.


I will now get off my store rant and move on to other things. I am very stressed. Today..I got shots for school and it turned into a catastrophe. It was awful. I almost passed out. I had a mini anxiety attack. yuck.

I am in this stressed out emotional mood and I want it to go away. Is there something such as wanting something too much?? I honestly think there is. This pickle is now just getting worse and worse.

What else do i have to say? Well, another friday night..at home. oh the joys. I wish I had more gumption.

confessions....

i must confess that i love the new layout of my bloggy. hehehe


i may or may not have gotten myself into a pickle and one that i can easily get myself out of but i am not sure if i can. i am scared.

anyway, i am almost through with work but I am giving them 2 more days..the fuckers...but i did screw them over on the weekend. yay! hehehehehe

OOH I FOUND OUT SOME INSANE NEWS!!!!! my truck driver writes erotic novels...i was beyond pumped!!!! I want to see where he gets published and what not. i also would like to read some of them. Bring on the funnies!! heheheh

also..jenna jameson has a new movie coming out...do i want to see it?? not really sure...i read her book. it was intriuging..i learned some shit. .

oye..really... i am so scared for school. :(