Saturday, November 14, 2009

Nothing much to talk about...

I find that more and more, I do not have that much to talk about. I reside doing schoolwork daily. I push my personal problems to the side and continue on because I just do not have time to deal with them. I have come to terms that yes, I am going to be alone for the foreseeable future unless an extreme act of god happens. I am not even remotely okay with it but I have work to do, I try to make time for myself but I feel guilty. I know I should...everyone else surely makes time to party down each week. Do I feel I am missing out? Yes and no. I surely do not want to be shaking it up around these here thanks, last time I checked that wasn't my scene and I wasn't tried and true local. But, social interaction with people aside from the people I see daily (most aren't my friends) would be nice. Every so often I do see old friends and I cherish that. I will keep trudging through life. I see an end...dear god...I better.

I am scared I will be stuck here. I need to leave. That is my greatest fear. I cannot stand being around here for more years. There really isn't anything keeping me here aside from my family but, I need to get away from them too.

Then I have these thoughts of continuing with school that will cause me to delay my life even more but it may mean doing what I love..gah!

Alas, an unhappy place. I would like to make it a happy place but my tolerance for ignoring things has gone down and I am not doing so well.

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