Sunday, January 27, 2013

Bacon: Unctuous, Blubbery Meat Speckles or New Age Culinary Delicacy

The current culinary landscape seems to rely largely on the by-product of the swine. Oink..Oink...Baby...America loves it's bacon. We is 'MERICANZZ!

Bacon is the all rage. It's everywhere and in everything. If you know know my feelings about bacon are quite mixed. I like it. I don't quite love it....I have issues with it. Let's just say I find it fucking needy. (For a full poetic review of bacon see the 2010 issue of UMass Dartmouth's Literary Journal: Temper.)

Now, what perplexes me about the bacon rage (much like roid rage) is that foodies or just hungry humans and chef's alike seem to treat bacon as this new found ingredient much like the pomegranate craze of a few years back or gluten free stuff. Bacon isn't new people!!!! In fact, it's pretty darn old. Why must you put it in JUST ABOUT EVERYTHING??? Desserts, donuts, drinks, burgers, seafood, casseroles, meatloaf, chili, steak, chicken, etc.

STAAAHPPPPPPPP!!!!  Just stop....

You aren't creative or innovative. You are just trying one up the dude next to you. It's the proverbial pissing contest. Guess what? You lost! Ya bacon donuts are just gross and the epitome of gluttony.

Bacon does have it's redeeming qualities. It's tasty. It can be crunchy, it can also be not so crunchy..kinda like...leathery and chewy.  But it's good...ALOOOOONEEEEEEE.....

Because, in my oh so humble opinion, if you add bacon to other food, you just taste bacon. So..why not just eat bacon? Am I wrong here?

Bacon is fat and yes, fat is flavor.  But come on...use another flavor. Please....just stop sneaking it into dishes and putting it on desserts and in drinks. Let bacon be for a while. People will still love it. Americans are fat enough as it is..we don't need anymore help in expanding our waist lines.

I am tired of this bacon rage. And, yes, I am looking at you Travel Channel and your show: Bacon Paradise. Seriously, it's more like bacon hell for me and my worst nightmare.

So foodies for 2013, let's pick another ingredient to be oh so hip, okay? Let it not be a fatty meat type thing. There is only so much I can take.

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