As I go to interviews and apply for jobs, I do not and cannot see myself working at these places. I appreciate and cherish the experiences but I know they are not for me. I love what I do now and I want to continue doing it. I know there is a job out there that will allow me to edit, revise, write content solely for the web. Right now, I am not finding it. But in the meantime, I need do something else. I need to explore and I really think I need an adventure.
I know I am going to miss teaching dearly. I will miss my students. I will miss helping them and seeing them grow as writers. I will never forget the feeling I felt when I realized that a student actually listened to what I said during a lecture and used what we did in an exercise in her paper. I was so happy! But, I wasn't happy for me, I was happy for her. Her paper was beautiful. That is something you cannot replicate. It makes me smile.
But, as I slowly resolve into a new decision about my life, I look ahead. I want to continue to write no matter what but do I want to continue to teach? I am not sure. I love it. It's so much fun. I think I need to be away from it for a bit to figure out if that is something I really want to do with my life. After everything that has happened with teaching, I still find it exhilarating and I think that says something.
Anyway, back to this adventure. I think I need to do something unexpected. I've had these thoughts with me for a while and I've talked about them before. I think I need to travel by myself to the places I've dreamed out. I need to visit France, England, Rome, etc. But, I need to do it alone. This isn't going to be some soul searching jaunt around Europe. It's going to be a much needed vacation and intellectual experience. I can expand my mind, read, see beautiful things.
Thinking about this opportunity makes me happy. I want it to happen. I think it may clear my head and allow me to realize what I really want to do with my life. Do I want to continue teaching and my education or do I want to enter the workforce once again?