ts 2 days until thanksgiving.
it feels like the semester just started.
my life is flying by.
i miss my friends. i miss my old life.
i miss having the luxury of going out and not feeling guilty. Now I go out and guilt overwhelms me because I have 50 papers to correct and 100 pages to read and a paper due in 2 days.
i cannot stress enough that graduate school is not a joke. My life is completely different, yet I am happy about it.
I long for days of random excursions and pointless nights of dancing.
Soon they will come.
I think this lonely feeling will subside once I can freely go out and buy groceries or go have tea by myself or with a friend. See human life once again.
Sometimes, I wonder, can i do this 3 more semesters? Do i have it in me? I can and I must. Will I accomplish my goals..i am not sure. I am also not sure if I changed them.
Can i swim in the pool of academia and elitism? I splash and i make waves. Will "they" accept that? I am different. I smile and giggle at puppies and get caught watching britney spears video's and carry around princess folders. I see the the strange looks. It makes me want to prove...there is room for me.
hey..i am tiny.
i will bold you over with my fanciful rhetoric and gained agency. i found my exigence.. (yeah..i made that a noun..deal..)