What happens when you fall...

I loved/love him so much it hurts, but he doesn't love me. So now, I sit here and ponder all my missteps and mistakes and it hurts even more. Yes, I didn't trust him but I was trying. I was learning. I don't really trust anyone. I wanted to so much to trust him. I still do. My mistrust pushed him away. He fell out of love. I guess. Yet, I was the one to say...I'm done. I could see it. I could feel it. 

So, now I sit here and hope. I have no feelings left only the thoughts to know I love him. I hope my love can help and fix this. I can't think of all the what if's and could have's. I know my heart... I know I screwed up like I screw up everything. 

I'm scared for tomorrow and for all the days after that. 

The feelings flood in and I get lost. I am lost.

He made me so happy. I want to be happy again. 

I'm not done. 

I love him.