No PoMoSco

As life always does, it's thrown me a curveball. I had been planning on participating in a National Poetry Month project via the Found Poetry Review but...sadly..I can't. I don't have the time, mental willingness or "umph" to do so.

I feel very defeated about the whole thing. I am trying to make positive changes in my life and do "things" but I haven't been able to do much. 2015...throw me a bone.

National Poetry Month 2015

Yes, yes, yes....I know..I haven't written in 2 months...but...that will change very soon. I am participating in National Poetry Month again via the Found Poetry Review. This year it's a Boy Scouts' theme. It should be fun but I am a little nervous. I am still searching for a house so mixing all of that into writing for a whole month should be entertaining to say the least.

I hope you will all join me on this journey. I hope for some quality poetry but you never know.

See you in April!! 

2014: The year that was not.

2014 brought a lot of love and a lot of sorrow. The first obviously preceded the last. I am happy to turn the page to 2015....as we are almost 20 hours into the new year and I've spent at least 5 of them watching Pride and Prejudice. Oh if Mr. Darcy was real...

Anyway, at 33 years of age, I am not quite at the station in life that I desire. This year I went from believing I was going to spend the rest of my life with someone to realizing that was not going to happen and I was once again alone. It's a lonely life. The loneliness is tangible and not many people understand how difficult consistently being alone can be. I have friends but none are close by. I participate in a extracurricular activities and solo activities to keep myself "busy" but I am alone most of the time.

I've made changes to live a happier, healthier and more positive life. I have a more positive outlook than I did before but I am not completely healed. I wonder when I will feel whole again. 

Along with an earth shattering break-up, I also experienced a freak illness. Granted it did not require hospitalization but I did go through a lot of tests and doctor visits. It came to light that I have food allergies. They are random and inhibit my consumption of some of my favorite foods. I am still getting the hang of modifying my eating habits but like everything else, I am working on it. I can't say it's been easy. I feel better, thank goodness. 

With all the ups and the many downs of 2014, I want 2015 to be filled with light, happiness, adventures and most of all love and healing. 

I will make some proclamations about the coming year.

1. I will bake more and write about it. I've baked so much over the past few months and I have not chronicled it. 
2. I will own a dog. It will be the cutest, sweetest, bestest pup in all the land.
3. I will own a home. It will be the cutest, prettiest home in all the land. 
4. I will write more. I actually wrote last year...remember..I wrote cool poems. :)
5. I will have more happy. 

Goodbye 2014...you've taught me a great deal. 

I wish....

I wish there was a button you could push that would make you fall out of love with someone. But, you could only push that button when the relationship was over and you hurt so bad you can barely breath. There isn't such button....but I want one with all my heart or what's left of my heart...anyway. 

I want this pain to vanish. I want to feel whole again. I want to feel like myself again. Sometimes I feel like I am drowning...in my own feelings. I know how to swim but I could sure use a life preserver.

Yes, I've been baking.

I need to get better at this whole blogging thing. Back when I first started blogging...like circa 2001, I wrote blogs religiously and then I'd take a hiatus and the write like crazy. Now, I just plain ole forget. The positive: I've been baking.. a lot!

I've made the following over the past month and a half:

• Chocolate frosted banana brownies
• Apple Sauce
• Harvest Apple Cupcakes with cinnamon cream cheese frosting
• Chocolate Cupcakes with Peanut Butter Frosting (with a Reese's peanut butter cup inside)
• Apple Turnovers

Yeah, that's a lot of baked goods. I've also made some actual food but that's not as fun to talk about. 

I'll post pictures soon along with some of the recipes. I have to say I think I really screwed up with the chocolate frosted banana brownies but they were delightful! I made the frosting on the fly with powdered sugar and baking chocolate, butter and some half and half. It was great.  I was very proud of myself.

Here is a taste of what's to come:

Upside-Down Cake and Square Cookies. The world has gone mad!

Betty Crocker, you are a crazy, crazy woman. I used one of your iconic recipe cards (seen here) to make Pineapple Upside-Down Cake and it was a trip. People loved it. I did not. It was easy to make but just too sweet. I made a pretty design with fruit and followed the very simple instructions. 

Here's the deal.

All you need is:

• A box of yellow cake mix (I used Duncan Hines)
• A stick of butter 
• A cup of brown sugar
• Sliced pineapples (I used Dole pineapples slices in juice.)
• Maraschino cherries

Melt the butter in the pan. Make a layer of sugar and create a fun design for the fruit. Pour in your cake batter and TADA!! 26-30 minutes later you have a cake. 

Don't forget! Flip over the cake at least 2 minutes after you take it out of the oven and leave the pan over it for a bit. Everything sets and you can serve it. 

Like I said, not my favorite thing I've baked...far from it. 

Here are a few of my new favorites:

About 2 weeks ago, I decided to go nuts and make chocolate muffins. I was given Sally's Baking Addiction book for my birthday. I love the book and all the recipes. I made Sally's chocolate muffins and holy beans, I never thought I'd like chocolate muffins and I love them! Search her site for the recipe or buy her great book. It's worth it for the pictures.

Now, I needed cookies...I didn't want to bust out my mixture and I wanted something different. I remembered reading about these strawberry cake mix chocolate chip cookies. I googled and found this very simple recipe. It needed more moisture so I added some milk..about say...1/4 of a cup.

I had semi-sweet chocolate chips and white chocolate chips and wanted to party so I added them both to the batter. I again was pulling the lazy card out of my nonexistent pocket. I decided to smear the batter on parchment paper and bake. My stroke of brilliance still brings a smile to my face. 

Be careful when baking. Since it's one sort of thin homogeneous blob, it cooks rather quickly. Check frequently!!

Slice it with a pizza cutter and viola! It's fake strawberry and chocolate delightfulness. 

Make them soon or now! 

Post...life

As many of you noticed from my last entry....I've been through a breakup. I am sad, some would say devastated. I wish it wasn't so but it is. I need to move on and put a positive spin on it. A relationship happened and I can smile about that. As A. A. Milne says: How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard. That's how I feel about it. I wasn't all good but I am focusing on the good to get me through.

To help me get my mind and soul get into a better space, I am finally going to turn my blog into something!!!!!  Yes, friends...A Decadent Discourse will now be a food blog. I am going to bake stuff and critique it and maybe review restaurant dishes.

Hello..kids..A Decadent Discourse is going to now be an even better and clever(er) pun.

Yes. It's happening. I am excited.

I will finally write more and it will be fun. It may not be every week but it will happen.