A look back...

I took a stroll down memory lane yesterday. I read through..okay..fine..I skimmed through some of old blogs. Hot damn...I was/am crazy. Jeez....

I am going to chalk up the emotional rants to stress and grad school. Forgive me please, seriously. 

None of that will appear here anymore. I am almost embarrassed that I wrote those blogs. Ooops...

Anyway, I would like to set a whole new tone for this blog..I am not sure what it is yet..but it's going to be far better than what it was before.

Onwards and upwards...

And..I'm back...

So, I think I shall give this another go. I am not going to use this blog as vessel to whine about my life and work and how awful it is or isn't. I am not sure what this blog will be at this point since I am on a test run. I might pick topics each week to write about and go from there. 

 The reason I am starting up again is sort of mixed. I've been told by two different people that I should start writing again because well..I don't write anymore. I barely write in my job and when I do..it's far from creative. I recently found some creative pieces from grad school and I realized I had so much fun writing them....so...we shall see where this goes. 

Will I open up again on here?? I am not sure. Will I write about my amusing adventures? Who knows. Although, I have been witness a lot of people brushing their teeth in public restrooms lately..sorta odd but anyway.. we (this blog and I) are a work in progress. We will navigate this little journey together and probably talk about puppies, make-up, boys, and fashion along the way.

The end.

As you can see from the post dates, I lapsed in posting but with good reason. I've given up on writing. I sort of write for my job but I have committed to stop writing digitally in my personal life. But, I am writing right now. Well, it's a bit of a sign off.

Why am putting my writing to a halt?

Well, I write mostly about myself and I am sick of reading about others and their lives and since I like to practice what I preach, I am going to stop. This goes for blogging, needless facebook updates and twitter. I will still post stupid videos and retweet but I won't be updating the masses about my personal life.

I've realized that social media has made me so passive and uncaring. I really don't care about others and their activities...it's sad but true. I don't care if you have a headache or where you are going Friday or you exact location at that very minute. I am not your stalker. I also don't care if you need to write an 8 paragraph blog about how badly your life sucks (something I've been known to do and it's pathetic). So if I don't care, I am sure there are many others who do not care about my activities and with good reason. They aren't that exciting and if you do you care which you shouldn't, you could always ask me via a more personal means.

Participation in social media is an act in self indulgence and I don't want to do it anymore. I'd rather not indulge in myself.

I am also not sure why I wrote this since I know no one will read it. I guess it was to vocalize it. So there, I said it...

The end.....for now.

Maybe I write creatively in the future but I won't be posting it.

Rant Fest 2010

I've been trying to keep my blog clean of rants or whiny crap for the past couple months because it does not really solve anything. In the end, I end up looking like a whiny, unhappy person but there have been a bunch of things lately that have been irking the HELL out of me.

The following rant discusses the my biggest annoyance.

Dudes you make no sense. I've had similar experiences with quite a few men over the past few years and what I will describe in the next few lines drives me batty.

So as I have discussed in the past, I've done some online dating..whatever..I am shy. Get over it.

Anywho...this experience seems to happen to me A LOT.

1. Guy messages me. I message back with a witty reply.

2. Instant requests by boy to add on facebook, twitter and Aim and the like.....

3. We chat more.

4. We meet.

5. Dude goes MIA.....(ie...deletes me off of facebook, blocks me on AIM, etc...this is just after the first date or meeting)

6. I get sad and try to contact but my new thing is I don't contact because I actually know this is going to happen because men are so predictable.

I have deducted that I am horrible to meet in person....or I say a few wrong things.

I think when I first started dating (which was eons later than normal people...I was pretty much terrified and finally pushed myself to actually meet people)...I was okay to meet but now I've fallen apart.

Yes, I agree I am a hot mess but I know bigger messes that can land a solid dude.

But really, guys...you are strange.

Honestly...I think I am more irked at the whole going "virtually" MIA thing. They are the ones who went all sorts of adding crazy. My response: REALLY?? YA DUMB?

Okay...I will stop ranting..I know this sounds terrible but it is just annoying.

A lot of things are annoying me as of late, I think it is because I have more time to think about them.

So I graduated..hence the time and here is what I am doing:

I am still applying for jobs like crazy.

I bought a bike. I like it very much.

Thinking more about getting a kitten.

Sleeping soundly.

May 7, 2010

May 7th used to make me feel bittersweet. It was a day that I remember being so happy, so struck, so bowled over. I used to wish a day like that would happen again. I wanted that feeling again.

Today, I remembered those feelings as I was driving to school. I felt a twinge. I moved on with my day, my drive and tried not to dwell.

I did what I do everyday; work. But, a little piece of paper place in my hands stopped my everyday routine. My thesis approval form changed my life. May 7th no longer makes me want something I never had. It makes me so happy.

So May 7th..I love you..for all you've given me.

My Attempt at a VLOG

So, I figured I'd try this. Yikes...

Let me know what you think!!!

Something rash

I've always wanted to travel. I want to explore things. See the sights everyone talks about that I've never seen. I want to experience life unlike my own.

As I go to interviews and apply for jobs, I do not and cannot see myself working at these places. I appreciate and cherish the experiences but I know they are not for me. I love what I do now and I want to continue doing it. I know there is a job out there that will allow me to edit, revise, write content solely for the web. Right now, I am not finding it. But in the meantime, I need do something else. I need to explore and I really think I need an adventure.

I know I am going to miss teaching dearly. I will miss my students. I will miss helping them and seeing them grow as writers. I will never forget the feeling I felt when I realized that a student actually listened to what I said during a lecture and used what we did in an exercise in her paper. I was so happy! But, I wasn't happy for me, I was happy for her. Her paper was beautiful. That is something you cannot replicate. It makes me smile.

But, as I slowly resolve into a new decision about my life, I look ahead. I want to continue to write no matter what but do I want to continue to teach? I am not sure. I love it. It's so much fun. I think I need to be away from it for a bit to figure out if that is something I really want to do with my life. After everything that has happened with teaching, I still find it exhilarating and I think that says something.

Anyway, back to this adventure. I think I need to do something unexpected. I've had these thoughts with me for a while and I've talked about them before. I think I need to travel by myself to the places I've dreamed out. I need to visit France, England, Rome, etc. But, I need to do it alone. This isn't going to be some soul searching jaunt around Europe. It's going to be a much needed vacation and intellectual experience. I can expand my mind, read, see beautiful things.

Thinking about this opportunity makes me happy. I want it to happen. I think it may clear my head and allow me to realize what I really want to do with my life. Do I want to continue teaching and my education or do I want to enter the workforce once again?